My son cannot wait to visit my homeland in Africa. I have to get him a Nigerian passport soon. My son wants to learn to speak my native language. These are  achievements I want to share with you all, says a Nigerian born-German father who spoke with jigaatradings.com at length.  Excerpts:

Raising a kid could be challenging no doubt.  Irrespective of colourism,  as they grow old, they become more aware of their surroundings. They notice their mother  is white and their father is black, vice versa. They ask questions and this certainly can be overwhelming.

These tips however worked for me: 

 

Explaining the two cultures:  Every culture has its uniqueness. I highlight all the good and bad cultural practices to my kid. I ask his opinion of what he feels and we discuss. Note, there is always a channel for discussion. I have never failed to tell him that he is not under any pressure to pick one culture over the other. I want my son to grow naturally into self acceptance. 

 

Communication: Communication actually comes first. Do you instill fear in your kids, are they scared to express their concerns to you?  When there is a communication barrier, assumptions play a role. Pear pressure takes precedence. Solve all these by being  accessible to your kids., Be patient, be friendly  and most importantly love them unconditionally while also being firm. Discipline a child when there is a need for it . 

 

Build confidence: They need to know that there are certain individuals who would be mean to them because of the colour of their skin. Tell them that it  does not change their identity or individuality . People’s opinion of them does not make them a lesser human being, rather its hardwork, tenacity for success that makes them successful in life.  The sky is always the limit for anyone who aspires to soar irrespective of color. 

 

Being a Role Model: When I brush my teeth, I do it aggressively. Call me a bush man, I make noise while brushing. My biracial son has been thought that when he brushes, he should ensure that the toothbrush is at a 45-degree angle to the gums, he should gently move the brush back and forth in short (tooth-wide) strokes, brush the outer surfaces, the inner surfaces, and the chewing surfaces of the teeth. Of late, he has jettisoned the normal practice. And has taken to the aggressive way I brush my teeth. A child tends to copy everything you do. If you don’t want your child to end up taking up vices, then be upright, lead by good example.  

 

Food:  Introduce your native food to your kids. Just because they are domiciled in a country does not mean you should not teach them delicacies from your homeland. I noticed my son does not like eating spicy food, so I make it very light. I also get them involved when I am cooking. We eat together and he wants to roll the balls of fufu(eba) like I  do.  I don’t force all the delicacies, he gets to choose which he wants. I am proud to tell you my child loves fried rice prepared the Nigerian way. 

 

Above all, set limits and have clear and consistent rules your children can follow while you should never forget to celebrate your child’s acts of kindness.